Hm where to start? I can write for hours right now about what's been running through my head and what I want to do about certain things. I'm holding my chin up but that's not helping the shit load of depression I've found myself sucked into again. I find myself now doing the same thing everyday. The song by Nine Inch Nails - Everyday is exactly the same; is oh so fitting for my life. Break I got up - got dressed got on the comp, sat there all day. Stayed up all night, did it over and over again. Now it's school - I get up; get dressed, go to the same classes, go home, do homework, get on the computer. I need change in my life - I'm not a person that runs from change I embrace it. I just want something to change. My head hurts - my heart hurts. Most of all I hurt. There are things I'm looking too this year - shows; lots and lots of good ones and concerts as well as my Benefit show Feb 13th. Senior project is going good minus the damn paper that I should be working on now - I just don't have the willpower at the moment. Besides I work best under pressure haha so tomorrow I'll be killing the rest of it. Senior year - halfway over; gonna be outa hell on June the 4th. I'm actually excited about prom - not sure if the person I wanted to take still wants to go; if not I can go with friends. Relationships; it seems I've met a lot of fake relationships not love relationships friend ones. Sad how fake people are now a days. Posers are everywhere it seems. This is actually my first post for 09 haha sweeet; rambling I do this often when I'm scattered; was in stockton yesterday for a bit and I ran into someone that fucked me up for 4 years. It was odd - he tried talking to me like he never did anything to me or my cousin. As scared as I was I talked back - hm why I didn't just walk away is beyond my own knowledge. Anyways - going to a show on Friday, Ares, Lionheart, Cuttin' Loose - cool shit. I'm done here.
- Vernisha
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